May 30, 1999: Before there is depression I feel…
I feel it first in my stomach—not a twisting or a turn…a lump of heavy something. I fall, they fall and there is no ice cream for any or all. I can’t explain this feeling—not a pain nor an ache. Loneliness it isn’t, nope not even a stomach ache. But it’s there! I fall, they fall and there is no fun for any or all. I feel something take over—not warm, isn’t even cold…quite heavy, right there in my stomach. I fall, they fall, let the running begin. I don’t feel lost or ashamed—no reason, no rhyme…I know its time to wait—sit in silence, before I fall, before they fall…shhhhh, for any or all.