GETTING MY EMOTIONS IN CHECK
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GENTLEMAN DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE KNOW IT ALL KISS AS GIRL IN GRADE SCHOOL THE ONE CONSTANTLY REMINDING THE TEACHER.... "MRS BUNCH...ARE WE GOING TO TAKE THE QUIZ TODAY.......
show moreTHE ONE CONSTANTLY REMINDING THE TEACHER....
"MRS BUNCH...ARE WE GOING TO TAKE THE QUIZ TODAY....
YEP THE LITTLE TATTLE TALE SUSAN THAT SNITCHED ME OUT FOR CUTTING IN
THE LUNCH LINE.... SO THAT I COULD EAT QUICK AND HAVE MORE TIME AT RECESS
YOU KNOW TO DO THE COOL RECESS SHIT THAT 3RD GRADERS DO.
BUT FOR WHATEVER REASON, LIFE THOUGHT IT NECESSARY, FUNNY, OR MAYBE
EVEN FOUND PLEASURE IN ME HAVING AS MANY CLASSES THROUGHOUT MY SCHOOL
LIFE WITH LITTLE MRS TEACHERS PET
AND GOD I HATED HER, AND THOSE APPARENT MOMENTS SHE WAS HELL BENT ON
WRECKING MY WORLD.
AND THERE WAS SERIOUS MOMENTS I CONSIDERED HER MY WORST DAMN ENEMY
SHE APPEARED TO ME AS THE DEVIL'S APPRENTICE OR AT THE VERY LEAST
THAT LITTLE THORN IN MY SIDE EVERY TIME, I WAS ABOUT TO GET AN EXTRA
SLICE OF PIZZA, A KISS BEHIND THE BLEACHERS, OR SNEAK A LOOK AT COLTS
PAPER FOR THE QUICK CHEAT CODE.
YEP, PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE FOR ALL THREE OF THOSE.....THANK YOU FOR THE MEMORIES
SUSAN...
WITH THAT BEING SAID, AND WITH ALL THE HATRED STORED UP OVER THE SCHOOL YEARS,
AND THOSE EMBARRASSING INSTANTS SHE BROUGHT FORTH..... WHICH AT THE TIME CAUSED ME TO
HATE SEEING HER VERY FACE....AND I JUST KNEW MY LIFE WOULD FOREVER SUCK BECAUSE OF HER
BUT I HAVENT THOUGHT OF SUSAN IN YEARS...AND IF I RUN INTO A OLD SCHOOL BUDDY OR GET THE
OCCASIONAL FB MESSAGE.....WE TALK ABOUT HOW AWESOME SCHOOL WAS...
"DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE MADE ICE CREAM AT BRANDONS GRANDPA'S FARM....
OR HOW ABOUT THAT TIME YOU PISSED YOURSELF AT THE HAUNTED HOUSE...
OHHH YEAH, HOW ABOUT WHEN YOU BROKE UP WITH ASHLEY BECAUSE BECKY HAD
BIGGER BOOBS.
I HONESTLY CAN SAY I DONT THINK HER NAME HAS EVER BEEN MENTIONED...AND ACTUALLY IF IT
EVER WAS, IM SURE WE WOULD HAVE A GOOD LAUGH AT HOW TRIVIAL HER BEHAVIOR WAS
AND HOW LITTLE OF EFFECT IT HAS NOW...THOUGH AT THE TIME HER LITTLE BLABBER MOUTH
KEPT ME ON EDGE AND FILLED ME WITH HATE LIKE ID NEVER EXPERIENCED....
BUT NONETHELESS, MY LIFE HAS MOVED ON,,,I'VE EXPERIENCED MUCH MORE OF WHAT LIFE HAS TO
OFFER THAN SPENDING TIME HATING SUSAN
AND THAT HAS ME CONTEMPLATING.....DO WE HATE LIFE IN THE MOMENT, BECAUSE SHIT SUCKS
AND IT DOESN'T GO OUR WAY....AND THROUGH THAT EMOTIONAL LENS WE CAN ONLY SEE THE BAD, THE UGLY....
THE SUSANS.....
OR DO WE GENUINELY HAVE A LEGITIMATE REASON TO BE AT ODDS WITH THE OL WORLD
I COULD HAVE WENT MY WHOLE LIFE LOOKING FOR SUSANS
HEAD ON A SWIVEL .......SEARCHING FOR REASONS TO HATE MY LIFE
AND USING EVERY EXCUSE UNDER THE SUN TO JUSTIFY MY SNARLING
HATE FOR ALL THAT IS....
BUUUUT....IF WE WERE EVER TO CLEANSE THAT LENS....LETS SAY WITH A DOSE OF PERSPECTIVE
EXPERIENCE,,,AND MATURITY....
WOULD WE DISCERN THE DIFFERENCE...AND WHAT I THINK IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ACTUALLY
HATING LIFE AND JUST BEING MOMENTARILY UPSET...
AND YOU ASK WELL WHATS YOUR POINT AND WHY DOES IT MATTER.
BECAUSEEEE! ITS THE LITTLE THINGS..THOSE SNEAKY HABITS,,,THOSE LITTLE SUSAN THOUGHTS
THAT SLOWLY BEGIN TO GROW....AND CONTINUE TO GROW...UNTIL THAT BECOMES OUR LIFE...
IT FESTERS AND FESTERS UNITL IT CONSUMES US,,,AND WE BECOME THAT OLD GUY IN
HIS WHITEY TIGHTIES SCREAMING AT THE KIDS TO GET OFF HIS LAWN...
WELL, FUCK YOU MR BROWN YOUR GRASS IS DEAD ANYWAY....
HATES A STRONG WORD...A VERY STRONG EMOTION....AND THE IDEA HERE IS TO MOVE AWAY FROM EMOTIONS
AND BEGIN TO THINK LOGICALLY...SQUARE PEG
THE SQUARE HOLE KIND OF THINKING
MANY TIMES WE USE THE WORD HATE FOR SMALL TRIVIAL MATTERS...AND ON THE SURFACE
LEVEL WE THINK IT HAS NO LASTING EFFECT
TO SPEW OUT A LITTLE HATRED...
HELL EVERYONE DOES IT AND I'M MAD....
WELL YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK ABOUT EVERYBODY...
EVERYBODY ELSE IS STUPID AND PROBABLY VOTED FOR BIDEN...
I DONT WANT TO FOOL MYSELF INTO BEING MAD AT THE WORLD AND TO HATE MY LIFE
JUST BECAUSE I RAN INTO SOME SUSANS...
AND LET SUSAN REPRESENT ALL THE BULLSHIT
THAT WE MAY ENCOUNTER ON A DAILY BASIS
TRUCK WOULDN'T START, DOG DIED, BOSS IS AN ASSHOLE..HEMORRHOIDS COMING
IN LIKE MOUNTAINS..FILL IN THE BLANK....////LIFE CAN SUCK AT TIMES...
BUT DO I HATE LIFE.,..OR DO I ONLY HATE THE TEMPORARY UNPLEASANTNESS OF
THINGS NOT GOING MY WAY...
I REFUSE TO FORM A HABIT OF DWELLING ON THE NEGATIVE SHIT
LIFES WAY TOO SHORT TO BE PISSED OFF AT SUSAN
?AND YOU KNOW WHY?,,,CAUSE I REMEMBER THE GOOD THINGS, THE MOMENTS THAT ACTUALLY
OUTLAST SUSAN SNITCHING ME OUT FOR TRYING TO KISS MEGAN...AND GOD DO I REMEMBER MEGAN!!
AND THATS THE SAME WITH LIFE....THERES ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE UGLY PARTS THAT TRY
TO KICK YOU IN THE BALLS WHEN YOUR ATTEMPTING TO REACH FOR THE LAST SLICE OF PIZZA
BUT
...I KNOW LIFE IS FUCKING AWESOME.....AND BELIEVE ME IVE DANCED WITH ALOT OF
SUSANS...ADDICTION...STUPIDITY, TRASHY WOMEN, AND SELF INFLICTED WOUNDS
BUT MY MIND STILL KNOWS THAT LIFE HAS SO MUCH MORE TO OFFER THAN SUSAN IF ID ONLY
CHOOSE TO SEE THROUGH THE TEMPORARY BULLSHIT
DO WE HATE LIFE OR DO WE JUST DISLIKE THE MOMENT
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