So yes, Kirsten may be one of the most ~boring~ dolls in the capsule collection, but did you ever consider that the boringness is a cover? Where is Singing Bird? What about her first teacher, Miss Winston? And don't forget about the number of small animals that have disappeared around her...

Today, the gals are discussing the US v. Kirsten: America's First Serial Killer. Delve with them into the unknown, highly suspect life and times of Blood Money Bitch Kirsten and her very strong brother, Lars. Venture into cave-with-door with Dead Old Man Jack, brave the wintry Minnesota storm (completely unnecessarily, with maximum danger) with Papa to retrieve her (non-vital) doll, Sari. Climb up a tree with Peter because dumb bitch Kirsten brought a spoon to a bear fight. Worship her during her special Kirstenmas tradition, Saint Lucia's Day, along with her (brainwashed?) cousins.

Listen to Kirsten become more and more unhinged as she reaches the biggest Change for Kirsten: pioneer farm girl to unholy hellion sent from Satan to wreak havoc.