This episodes focuses on Toxic Family Members & Removing Them From My Life? What are we really saying? Can we heal? Well listen up this episode will provide you a better and more appropriate way to handle a toxic family member.

“ Toxic Family Members & What Are We Really Saying When We Say I’m Removing Them From My life? /Can We Heal?

Can you really distance yourself from a toxic family member? I never could imagine distancing myself from my family. I was raised up that family stuck together. That loud family member that everyone tried to avoid dealing with him/her. (you dealt with).
You dealt with the family member on drugs & alcohol. You didn’t have to be around them but you just didn’t avoid them on purpose. But I think about this question now a lot. Since it’s 2023 now and families today have changed. They can go years without speaking to each other and would gladly call you a toxic family member they need to avoid.

But is this really what we want to do? I watched how many many years ago we had talk shows that brought us those families and the reason they went on those shows.
To resolve the conflict that was between those families. Sometimes they left doing that, only to update how they were two weeks to a month later. We saw some survive and were doing wonderful. Then some ended up remaining the same. But the thing families wanted was to resolve issues and move on from it. To once again enjoy that family member. I am so shocked that today we are okay with removing or distancing ourselves from a family member. Possibly never speaking to them again is fine. How is that okay? What made us think it was the solution to the problem? I was always reminded that love covers all things. So are we no longer in love with them? Or who they are just doesn’t fit in my world so avoid them. But we are all made differently. We aren't supposed to like everything about someone or who they are and we don’t.
It would be nice if we did but we don’t. But what made us come up with if a family member is toxic, remove them instead of finding out what the issues are and resolve it? So that you are in loving harmony with them once again. Wouldn’t that be a better way to handle the issues with them? I would miss a family member of mine, even the toxic ones or the ones who I have avoided. I’d miss them because that individual was a part of my family. We don’t get to choose what family we’re born into so how can we omit those who aren’t like us or give us satisfaction every time.
To me if I can’t choose what family I can be born into pretty much tells me hey, work things out within the one you're born into.
I understand we have some shady family members. We got one who will take everything from under you in a minute and say it wasn’t them and it would be them. I totally understand and it’s okay to call it how you see them but avoiding them won’t solve it. Calling them out and letting them know, I know it was you so why did you do it? What could I have done to you? Let’s get to the problem, if they stole or took something then give it back or pay it back. (together make a means to pay it back)Preparing Them to learn a lesson before continuing your ways and do it to someone else or another family member.
So now they know well I won't do that to you again she called me out and knew it was me. It would embarrass them that's why they hide or put it on someone else because they're embarrassed of their behavior.
Then to have done that to their OWN family member is even more embarrassing. Who wants to be known in the family of being the one who is shady or will steal your money, or everything you own in heartbeat. Who?? I wouldn't avoid them after being exposed.
That is why you resolve issues and conflict or whatever it is. Over time They, themselves will be embarrassed of their behavior.
I wouldn’t remove myself from a toxic family member, I'd expose them instead. That's how you have to handle them because you can never remove what it was you were born into, but you can settle your issues with them & if they did something, you could expose them. If I stole money from a family member a large sum or used their credit card. They found out it was me, all the cursing won’t solve it, the arguments won’t solve it. Avoiding them won’t solve it but guess what confronting them and exposing them. Letting them know, you knew it was them here is the proof, and gather up others who also have been done that way by them. Expose them and watch how their behavior changes after it. You wouldn’t have to remove them, they will remove themselves because they are too ashamed to face you, too afraid to even pick up the phone to say I’m sorry. I was wrong, you wouldn’t have to do one thing and they will remove themselves. That is what you call embarrassed behavior, They can’t face who they’ve conned or scammed or hurt.
And guess what birds of a feather flock together and their associates will follow right behind them. You don’t have to do anything but expose them; they will do the rest themselves. You’ll wonder why this family isn’t talking to you or have distanced themselves. Well now you know a guilty dog barks first you don’t have to do nothing. They will expose themselves by their behavior, You’d be on the back end like what? Hurt people hurt people, they don’t care how or who they hurt.
They just wanna cover themselves and keep wearing their masks but to expose = embarrassment. (You said) she/him stole this or that, turns out to have been them all along. It's embarrassing, because they’ve gone traveling to others with the story and whoever believed them is now going along.
Leaving Them all mad at the person who didn’t do anything wrong.
Then in the end they all are embarrassed because it was the guilty dog bark who barked first that was the one all along. Who wants to be embarrassed like that? No one, but it happens and that is what we have to do rather than. I’m removing him or her. Are you completely satisfied with doing that to your family member? Deep down inside? You can always always expose them for who and what they did to you.

That will be embarrassing alone to know they would go that far and do that to a born blood family member. So that's how I handle a toxic person or family member. I didn’t have to shout, yell or curse or anything like that. Eventually sending them a nice letter in the mail, or a gift card with a cup of coffee and card/and your proof to them. Watch how they will just move out your way on their own.
But once they're over the embarrassment you can expect them to then talk with you and get your apology then. It will be well worth it. That's all you have to do.I love each & every member of my family. We are all scattered in different states but you know who you are & love you all.


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Host: Tialonda
Music Acknowledges & Credits: Conti Music
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