Triad S1E9 Hannah and Kim: Birthmother and Adoptive Mom

Nov 24, 2021 · 48m 6s
Triad S1E9 Hannah and Kim: Birthmother and Adoptive Mom
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I was a lost 18-year-old girl who went to California and then met a cute boy who was a few years older. When some family matters came up a very...

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I was a lost 18-year-old girl who went to California and then met a cute boy who was a few years older. When some family matters came up a very short time afterward, this boy proposed that he move with me back to Indiana. At that point in my life I didn't make logical decisions, all I knew right then and there was that I thought I was in love with this guy and he was willing to move across the country with me, so that must mean that he loved me too. But everything changed when we arrived in Indiana and his true colors started to show. He was an alcoholic and a drug addict who was using me to finance his addictions as well as take care of him with housing, food, gas, cigarettes, etc. while I worked 40+ hours a week at the local Starbucks. As time passed, he became more and more physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive towards me. One night he snapped, but luckily my brother who was two years younger than me was home and came to my rescue. I had been so beaten down in all ways from him that I didn't know how to stand up for myself or have the strength to walk away. I don't know what would have happened that night if my brother hadn't kicked him out of our condo. That didn't last long though. Like most people in an abusive relationship, it is hard to completely cut ties as the abuser holds a strong grip on you and is a master manipulator. Now the already complicated situation was about to get even messier. At 18 years old, I had regular periods and January was two weeks late. I went to the drug store to buy a pregnancy test praying this was just a false alarm. But those two pink lines appeared. He was back living in our house for a night or two at this point when I told him I was pregnant. He reacted pretty well, didn't freak out or say anything to lead me to believe what would happen next. I had to leave to go work a closing shift and we said we would talk about it later when I returned home. Upon coming home, he was gone. Not only was he MIA, he also emptied my bank account on his way out of town. What was I to do now? It took me a week to be able to tell anyone that I was pregnant. My mom's boyfriend upon hearing the news mentioned that I should look into adoption. Boy was I pissed that he could even say that to me! The next day, I couldn't shake what he said. I went to visit an adoption agency just to gather some information. On my way home, I needed to stop by the bank to try to see what I could do about the money that was "stolen" from me. I say that in parentheses because he was able to convince me that he needed access to my account for his basic necessities. He had me brainwashed. I didn't fully comprehend the consequences of doing that, I was young and naive. I had known the teller at the bank for a while, and during my visit that day, I broke down crying. I told her I had just found out that I was pregnant, that his guy had disappeared and taken my money with him. Unfortunately, there was nothing she could do to help me, with the money part at least. She called me later and told me that she had a daughter that would be interested in adopting my baby. I realize that this sounds like a totally bizarre way to go about this, but for whatever reason, I was not weirded out and told her she could pass along my contact information. On Valentine's Day, I met Kim and Brad (Colin's now adoptive parents) at the Starbucks where I worked. We sat there and talked for hours. I told them that night that I wanted them to adopt my baby. They being hesitant of a hormonal pregnant teenager told me to sit with it a bit before making a decision. But I knew walking away from that conversation that this was what I was supposed to do and they were the couple that was meant to raise my child. Now let's skip the details of the remainder of the pregnancy and the first 5 years of Colin's life where I did not physically get to see him outside of a few times the first 6 months after he was born. On Colin's 5th birthday, we got to re-meet. I was a nervous wreck to say the least. I wanted him to like me and I wanted everything to go smoothly so not to jeopardize any future meet ups with him. Over the past 4 1/2 years since that first reunion, I've now lost count of the times I have got to see him and his family. We have grown into what we like to call our weird adoption family. I no longer live in Indiana where I can easily meet up with them on a weekend, but anytime I come home, they are always on the top of my list to visit. Anytime I have a tour that comes through town or even a short drive away, they make their way out to see me (sometimes even without the kids!).
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Author Hope O Baker
Organization Hope O Baker
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