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Today’s podcast title is “Victory Starts With Me”. In keeping with the theme of the last to podcast I really want us to focus on self improvement and self acknowledgement and understand just how important we are to making our dreams come true. I know that sounds so obvious, but when you think about it many of us are really relying too much on happenstance, luck, and blessings falling out the sky. I think if we put more energy in putting our hands to the plow as the Bible states we will see more things began to open up.

I’ve been on a weight loss journey for about three years now and it appears that every year my weight goes higher and higher... There was one point last year when I was really serious and going to the gym three times a week. I was focused and determined to get back to my high school weight. When I tell you I got very close. I was off my three pounds. I thought I was doing it. Needless to say, my sexy swag didn’t last long because after that I went on an eating spree. Mind you during this time I wasn’t really dieting per say, I really focused on exercising and I reached my goal. Now I find myself back in this weigh loss fight again. But only this time, I have a hangover (my stomach) that I’m trying to burn away. I was having a conversation with my sister this week and she was talking to me about her weigh loss journey and she said something that really stuck with me. She said, it doesn’t matter how many trainers, dietitians, or doctors you have working with you at the end of the day you are the one doing the work. All I could say was, “Amen sista”. Again, here’s another instance where the buck ends and begins with you, me, I, us. Ralph Emerson was quoted as saying, “Where ever work is done, victory is attained.” He also said, “Work is victory”. In my Iyanla Vanzant voice, always remember baby, “you gotta do the work.”

Ill be the first to tell you, I don’t enjoy hard work. I am the type of person that will do whatever it is I need to do to avoid hard work. I will ponder 30 mins on the quickest and easiest way to do something especially if it involves me doing something that will make me sweat or feel sore later. Hence the reason I have a hangover now. If we are honest with ourselves many of us would agree that we don’t like working hard. Hence the reason there are so many people going to jobs, giving a place 40 plus hours a week and they are miserable. Its much harder to go back to school and get another degree and work while in school verses taking a student loan to pay it off. Its much harder going to the gym everyday before or after work to exercise though extra pounds off than it is to go to a doctor that let them burn or freeze it off. Right? But think about this, how much would you appreciate a victory if its just given to you. How can you help someone else overcome their battle if you take the short cuts and the cheap way out? That’s what winning is about, right? We want to “Win on Purpose” so we can show our children and our children’s children how to win. Plato said, “Self conquest is the greatest of victories.” I have never interviewed, or read an interview from anyone and heard them say, I never get tired, I love to do this all day everyday.Even the most successful people get burned out, they feel lazy, they get discouraged by defeats and so on.

We know we are going to get tired, so why not push through it and keep going.

We know we are going to get discouraged, so why not keep going in the midst of the sadness.

We have to push through our natural human emotions sometimes if we want to win. If we want to be victorious at anything we MUST fight for our victory. Again, Emerson said, “Work is Victory.” Victory is work.

One of the greatest things we have to conquer within ourselves is fighting our doubts. If anyone comes in my face and tell me they don’t doubt themselves and never have, I will show a liar for sure. We all have those moments of doubt, and times when we question ourselves and question if we can do it. We question if its what we are suppose to be doing. I am still questioning if I am supposed to be doing this podcast believe it or not. But I keep doing it because I wish I had someone in my life rooting for me and pushing me and encouraging me to pursue my dreams. Not that my parents weren’t supportive of my siblings and me, they were just more so focused on us going to school and getting a degree and all that jazz. But if I knew then what I knew now....(pause) I am not gonna say it. Music artist NF says, “Quit taking advice from your doubts.” If you are in a place where you don’t want to be today — part of it is because you listened more to your doubts than you did your hopes. I know that our doubts can from in the form of being “realistic” thats what we call it. I’m just being realistic. My question to all of the “realist” out there, I want just say you create your reality. “We create our reality.” So am I saying that we wont ever experience defeat? Not at all, but what I am saying is we decide what we do in the midst of defeat, whether we keep going or give up and that determines our reality. The unknown person said, “sometimes you win, sometimes you learn.” So from your losses and defeats what will you take from it? Will you aim to get better and be better and most importantly be victorious. Or will you allow yourself to drown in it and suffocate from it? The choice is yours and mine! I choose to learn the lesson and keep pursuing my dreams. Yeah, I’m three years into my weigh loss journey and I have experienced some blows in that timeframe that set me all the way back, but I am not going to give up. I am determined to be like wine, and get better with time. - - (I know that was mad corny, but you get the point.) Don’t discount the small victories because are proof that you are going in the right direction. World Champion soccer player, Mia Hamm says, “Take your victories, whatever they may be, cherish them, use them, but don’t settle for them.”

When we accept the idea what victory starts with us, we cant blame anyone for anything in our lives. Every single person on planet earth has been wronged, stolen from, abused, picked on, doubted, you name it. But its up to us to find a way to channel all of that negativity. Should we not do what we really want to do because someone stole our idea? Should we stop doing what we want because people are doubting us? Should we not pursue our dreams because someone said it was stupid? I mean who would have thought that we would be walking around with handheld computers that we cant live without? Well, somebody did because most of us have cellphones these days. Nike has a ad slogan that says, “All dreams are crazy until they come true.” So why not give your dreams the opportunity to come true? Two things happened that really made me realize the world has changed, one, my mom got a facebook account and two my dad traded his flip phone for a smartphone and got a debit card. I had a Beyoncé “world stop” moment, “world stop”. Let me tell you. If you know my dad....your entire outlook on life would have changed too. In all seriousness, sit down and evaluate your life, like really take inventory and determine what nurtures your dreams and what things are detrimental to them. Are there some people that you need to disconnect from?

Whatever it is you have set out to attain, as much as possible try to limit the negativity surrounding that thing. Sometimes you have to get drastic with it too. I made a vow that I would not get on social media for six months. It started at the end of May beginning of June. This year I have experienced heartbreak like never before. I will talk about it at some point I am just not ready now. But in the midst of what I was going through I really found that social media wasn't helping me at all. It was actually making me feel worst. Because its a challenging to see everyone happy when you are feeling like shit! What I have found it that was one of the best decisions I could have made. I feel much clearer in my thinking. I am able to be present in my own life. My focus is on what’s happening in front of me. Has it been easy? Not at all. Its been about two months and I still think sometimes, oooo I wish I could post this picture, or I should post this quote. It was really a struggle to not go on or post on my @iwinonpurpose instagram, because I am trying to build it up and I have made some great friends on there. But for my sanity I had to. Its weird not knowing what the trending topics are and who the latest viral sensation is, but I know in the end it will all be worth it. I’ve even thought about doing this every year. Six months on, six months off. But I am not going to jump ahead of myself. The late great Muhammad Ali was quoted as saying, “The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights.”

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Music by: silencekills and leswagcupcakes